Consuming Computers

Today, as I sat in front of my computer ALL DAY just typing away at papers, futzing with the data analysis on my research, and preparing a presentation, I began to realize that I spend WAY TOO MUCH of my time on a computer.

So then I asked this question of my housemates (who immediately informed me exactly how random this question was)

What are some signs I could use to tell if I have been on the computer too long?

After much debate (ok really none at all, but debate makes the list sounds more official) we came up with this list:

1)     You have no hair on your thighs due to the constant heat

2)     You do something stupid and immediately think “ctrl (or option) Z”

3)     You use your computer to iron your nice pants or to warm you up on a cold day

4)     When making a collage, you no longer cut and paste, but rather “ctrl C/ctrl V”

5)     You don’t own a TV, but you are still up-to-date on most TV shows

6)     You regularly have the urge to use “ctrl F” on your textbooks

7)     When explaining to someone that you were talking to someone else, you make typing motions with your fingers…even if you had talked to them in real life

8)     You and your friends do not quote famous movies…they quote YouTube videos

9)     When actually forced to join the “outside world” you get into a situation and think my this would make a great blog entry

Sadly, I have actually done all of these…multiple times.

Sorry this post is so short, but my eyes are going into that I have looked into an LCD based screen for longer than previous generations of humans have evolved eyes to withstand so if you continue to abuse me in this way I will be forced to file charges against you and I have grown rather attached/dependent on my eyes over the years so I will give them a –short– break.

Feel free to add your own!

Continued Craziness

A few days ago (doG, has it been THAT long already…it felt like just yesterday, darn gremlins need to stop playing with time) I posted about how my brain had clearly been taken over by the crazy monster that infects everyone now and then. 

The only real evidence I had to support this was a) deciding to do BEDA when I graduate from college May 2nd and b) numerous typos that I never fixed.

Well, as any good scientist will do, I kept collecting data to support my thesis. I now have a considerably longer list of evidence as the forceful commandeering of my mental function. 

1) I say (ok type) things like the forceful commandeering of my mental function. When I go crazy, I type more…not better…just more 

2) I put my milk in the cupboard not the fridge and… 

3) Spent 20 minutes looking for it 

4) I set my alarm for 5am and… 

5) Thought that I might actually get up then to study 

6) I walked out of the house without shoes… 

7) Did I mention it was also raining at the time? 

8) I forgot my roommates name…I have lived with her for 2.5 years 

9) I had a 33 minute philosophical discussion…with a squirrel 

10) And it was better than most of the conversations with people 

11) I ran into a pole…and a car…while walking 

12) I jumped in a puddle (normally a good idea…but not when it is 40 degrees outside, ankle to mid-calf deep, you are wearing shoes that NEVER dry (whose idea was that??) and you have 6 hours of class left before you can go home) 

13) I just used a double parenthesis 

14) I vacuumed the room 

15) And did dishes 

16) I fell asleep in a very public computer lab 

17) I was able to finish my crossword for today 

18) I am now quoted as having said “ok look, a horsie…WOOF!” and honestly not understanding the problem. 

19) Making a list with 19 entries when it is nowhere near any of my favorite numbers 

So, clearly I do not have full use of my mental functions at this time. I am hoping that massive doses of sleep will chase away the crazy. 

What happens to you when the crazy monster takes up residence in your cranium?

Crazy Craniums

Ugh...hello 3am.

We really need to stop meeting like this. I would like at some point to be able to get what most reasonable people would call a borderline acceptable amount of sleep.

I was clearly caught up in the excitement of BEDA and was not thinking clearly when I decided to start this project. If I had been, the conversation would have gone something similar to this:

Crazy Me: WOOT! BEDA is starting, this is such a good idea.
Rational Me: Umm....excuse me, I hate to interrupt but I don't really think this is a well thought out plan
CM: What do you mean by that?!?
RM: Well, first of all, WHEN do you plan to WRITE your blogs?
CM: oh, no worries, they write themselves, I just have to think of the ideas and POOF a blog is posted...easy peasy
RM: sorry, but thats not how it works, you have to have TIME to write it
CM: spoilsport, but if you insist that is how it works, I will just MAKE TIME
RM: and how do you propose you will do that. you are a college senior taking 23 semester hours and preparing to graduate in less than 3 week after only 3 years of study with 2 majors and a minor and then start vet school in the fall while planning a research project for over the summer and write grants so that you can eat, you know, food and not dirt and live in a house made of wood and not cardboard
CM: you make that sound like it is a lot of work
RM: it is a lot of work and you are already only getting 4 hours of sleep per night so when are you making this time?
CM: oh, dont you know, You just have to get a Time Turner, that solves everything...I am sure if you ask enough people, someone will give you one
RM: oh how I wish that was true
CM: I am tired of arguing about this
RM: probably because of lack of sleep
CM: no, you are just frustrating, and you know, lack of sleep makes me take over your brain, so I know that the more I TELL you that you are TIRED, the more likely I am to win
RM: you are so evil and conniv...(falls asleep)
CM: WOOT! I win again!!!! add more stuff to the plate for RM

Upon waking up RM: ACK!!! NOT AGAIN...well, I said I would do it even though it was in a sleep induced state of crazyness so I guess I better try my best.


So, what that goes to show is that I am trying my best, which is all you are going to get right now. As much as I want to do this, not failing my classes so that I can actually graduate takes priority over this. So yes, my paper comparing the microbial populations of the ruminant to the non-ruminant had to be done before this blog could be written. The rational part of my brain would like to apologize for the fact that the crazy brain is slowly but surely taking over.

I have lots of ideas, but posts (sadly) do not write themselves. If only...

I will honestly try to make an effort to write several blogs this weekend so that this stops happening.

I feel like I have not given this the attention that it deseveres over the last few days, and I feel terrible about that.

Crazy brain has fully take over...those last 4 statements (RM:don't even try to pass them off as sentences) all started with I...I can feel the wrath of my English teacher and see the purple pen marks on this blog (she graded in purple pen so we weren't as scared of the marks)

Crazy Brain is going to bed NOW

Fry Fun

ACK!!!!

I just got back to school and got into a heated discussion with my housemate about which kinds of fries are the most dangerous to hunt in their wild versions (answer: curly fries...they all bunch up together and attack you when you catch one. the best ones to hunt are crinkle fries as they are dumb and if you step on one, the others will come running and you can just scoop them up) when I realized that I now have no minutes to type this...literally...no minutes.

oh well, today I was going to write about the easter bunny and the tradition of coloring and hiding eggs, but that is going to have to wait until tomorrow as usual.

In the last 3 days I have spent a total of 18 hours in the car driving...not fun. especially for someone who has an extreme dislike of moving vehicles of any kind.

The end.

Internet Irritations

Ok, so ten days seems to be how long I can stick with something.  But really, there was a valid excuse for why there was not a blog post yesterday.  I got up in the morning and went out to feed our horses and found, much to my dismay that they had torn down some of the temporary fencing we put up in the winter.  Luckily they were hungry and had not gone very far, but I still had to fix that fence…bad start to the day.  Then, I went to pick my brother and his friends up from college (4 college freshmen boys + one car = the most hilarious conversations EVER) so I was gone until 6:30ish.

So, that should leave me plenty of time to write a post right? Theoretically, but the one thing that you need to be able to POST something is internet, and we no longer had any…good old windstream…they make me SO happy.

So, all you naysayers say you should just go to the library silly.  Well…that would be a good choice if a)I did not live in a place where the library closes at 5om on Fridays and b)I did not live a 20 minute DRIVE away with no car (just ride your bike you would say…which would be fun, but it gets to be less fun if it is 40 degrees F and raining)

So that’s clearly out of the question, so you say just steal it from your neighbors in the comfort of your own home.  Which would also be a valid option if a)I had neighbors within a 5 minute drive of me (I live on a farm) b) I could see my neighbors house from the road.  As it is, I think they would get quite suspicious if a person sitting under and umbrella on a bike with a computer was sitting in their driveway.

Needless to say, this entry is going up as soon as we get internet back…and I will make a double post sometime soon to make up for the lack of internet leading to no post on Friday.

Oh, and here is a picture of a chick for Easter…just take the picture as enough and DON’T GET A REAL ONE FOR EASTER…it’s just not cool

Looking back on my childhood, I have realized that my parents (and grandparents, teachers, and babysitters) were wrong about a lot of things (they were also right about TONS of things too!). Sometimes they were knowingly lying to me, but other times, they just didn’t know any better. So what are some things that my parents told me when I was a child?

1) If you keep making that face, your face will freeze like that
I remember clearly the day my parent told this to me and my bother. We were about 5 minutes into a 3 hour car trip and my bother were busy making the most ridiculous faces. I don’t think my parents minded too much until the faces were accompanied by noises of a similar style. Thus, out came the “you face will freeze like that” saying. Now, both of my parents were engineers, so we were used to figuring out how things worked. This was no different and we began to press for how this face freezing thing worked, if it was reversible, what the restrictions were. The answer to this was what made it memorable. My mom, in a question induced state of frenzy, said “it will really only work if you get hit really hard when your face is like that.” THIS WAS A MISTAKE! Cue the now 2 hours and 45 minutes of my brother and I making funny faces and then beating on each other in an attempt to get it to freeze in that position. My parents NEVER said this again.

2) Santa is real (WHAT? You mean he is not??)
I don’t get this lie. Why is getting a present from a fat old man who wears a funny suit and breaks into your house that much more valuable than getting a gift from a REAL PERSON? Shouldn’t we be encouraging children in the spirit of gift giving and all that? How much does it encourage the rampant materialism we see today when children are given gifts from an imaginary person who gives them gifts based on how “good” they are?

3) Video games will ruin your sight.
As much as this is going to disappoint all of those parents out there who DESPERATELY want a reason to make your kids play outside (how about just tell them the truth?) video games will not ruin your vision. In fact, scientists are using video games to improve the vision of some people.

4) Sitting too close to the television will ruin your sight
Again, not so much truth in this. Sitting closer than 20 feet to the TV will indeed make your eye muscles tired, but it will in no way “ruin” them. You see, when at distances over 20 feet, the muscles that contract to change the shape of your lens (and thus focus your vision) are in a completely relaxed state. Once you move in closer than 20 feet, your eyes have to work harder to focus your eyes so they get tired faster.

5) Reading in the dark will ruin your eyes
I remember as a kid pretending to be deathly afraid of the dark so that my parents would leave the closet light on. This was JUST enough light so that I could read. I remember spending HOURS with just the top of the book pushed under the pillow and at any noise, I would shove the book under it and pretend to be asleep. I can only remember being caught twice, but due to my extreme fear of the dark, my parents never turned out the light and my room was down a long hallway from their room, so as long as I listen carefully, it was a fairly safe bet on my part.
Anyway, this will also just make your eyes tired. The rods in your eyes must work harder when you read in the dark because the cones don’t work in low light. The rods have lass acuity than the cones so your eye has a harder time processing the information and thus gets tired faster.

6) You should rip band-aids off quickly rather than over a long time
I always had an issue with this, but could never prove that the slow way was better…until now. This guy (near the end of the video) did a study that shows that the human brain processes intensity of pain much more than duration so a longer but less intense bandage removal will be overall less painful.
NOTE: The best way to remove a bandage is to get it wet so the adhesive (usually water based) lets go a little bit…then it practically slides off
ANOTHER NOTE: The rest of that video is also very interesting…be sure to watch it!

7) You can’t go sledding when there is no snow
Ok, this was probably just me, but as a kid (and in-fact probably even more so now) I LOVED sledding. My friends and I were hard core sledders. Remind me to tell you the story of when I knocked myself out and got a concussion while sledding (NO, I did NOT run into a tree). I wanted to go sledding LONG after there was no more snow, but wet grass doesn’t work all that well (although for the record mud works EXCELLENTLY until you get home and come in the house) and slip and slides are just not the same. So what is a kid to do? Well, these guys came to the rescue of kids like me. They have created a sled that you can attach blocks of ice to the bottom of so that you can sled ANYTIME! Bring on global warming (ok, do NOT bring on global warming…EVER) we will STILL BE ABLE TO SLED!

8) All that texting will ruin your ability to read and write “real English”
This idea seems to still be commonplace even though there have been studies that show that kids who text are often better writers and readers than kids who do not text. I think that as long as kids are taught that the abbreviations that are often used in texting are not appropriate in formal essays, learning and practicing the expression of ideas through the medium of text can only improve your writing in the long run. On a personal note, I know that my spelling has improved immensely (from worse than horrible to slightly below mediocre) since I started texting with word prediction. You don’t spell a word right with that on and it gives you this annoying question mark that just mocks you “nah nah you don’t know how to spell annoying (who KNEW that it has 2 Ns in it???) so now you get gibberish…good luck with your message.” Ugh…so now I know (and have a reason to remember) how to spell more words than I ever thought possible.

9) Stop doodling during class or you won’t learn anything
Many of you have probably already figured this out at some point, but here is some ammunition the next time that someone tells you to stop doodling and pay attention (appropriate response is “I can’t do that…its one or the other. You get to chose which one is more important to you…k thanks”). Scientists have preformed a study that shows that people who doodle while listening to something have a much better retention of facts than those people who did not doodle. All of you doodlers who were forced to stop now have an excuse for why you never did well in your classes…thank you science!

So, that concludes the list because 9 is my favorite one digit number (12 being my favorite two digit number and 144 is my favorite three digit number…yes I am odd enough that I have several favorite numbers…to add to it, 4 is my favorite smallish number).

What are some other things that your parents (or any elder) lied/misrepresented to you as a child? I have more of these, and I am sure there are some I can’t remember right now, so I might do this again. I find the instructing of children in the ways of the world to be a fascinating topic (even though kids in general are somewhere near the top of my top ten things to avoid at all costs list) and the idea of lying to children about relatively simple things simply baffles me.

Clandestine Collectors

Once again that part of my brain that apparently gets to decide what I write about has hijacked that part of my brain that says “you already have a blog post written that you TOLD people you were going to post today (and for the last few days…sorry about that) why don’t you just post THAT?”

I don’t know why this keeps happening…I had just opened my browser to make this post (well, not THIS post, but rather the one about how your parents lied to you) when I said “hmmm…I guess I will just check my e-mail really quick”

BOY was that a mistake…

First of all I was once again bummed out about the 124,223 unread e-mails I have to respond to but probably never will.

Then, I saw a new e-mail from school (usually I check those lest they say something such as “you be getting a new scholarship so we have lots of dollars to give you back” (which I might add is probably never going to happen, but a girl can dream right?)

Anyway, the e-mail was about a new job interview that was going to be conducted on campus. It was from the CIA looking for (and I do not kid at all) “a collector of clandestine information”…REALLY?

I didn't want to write about this but how could I not? I have made a conscious effort in recent weeks to wean my brain off of brain crack so this is apparently what happens when you just put ideas out there as they come to you (or, it could be brain crack withdrawal symptoms and I am really going -more?- crazy, both of which are equally likely options)

Calling these people “spies” is now politically incorrect. Even a seemingly innocuous term such as “agent.” is not politically correct enough anymore. What has this world come to that spies are now called collectors of clandestine information? I want to be a SPY, not a collector of clandestine information thanks.

What other ridiculous job titles have you heard in an attempt to make it politically correct? Bonus points (in a game where points are not recorded and for all intensive purposes mean nothing) if it makes an otherwise awesome job seem less awesome.

Also, I would just like to add that I should get some sort of brevity prize today as this is the shortest post I have written thus far.

Life Lessons

It’s not that I didn’t WANT to write about how parents lie to their children.  In fact I have already written the post (yep, now I am officially AHEAD in posts) but then this post hijacked my brain and forced itself to be written.  So here I am at work again with nothing to do but write this post due to the coup d’état of my brain.

Today everyone at school got the whole afternoon off to attend various sessions mostly related to student research, but one of the sessions had an alumnus giving a clichéd speech about how well the university will prepare us for the stresses we will encounter in real life and I was like “ok, this is basically an adver…WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT???? My life is NOT REAL??? How did I miss this fact for 21 years??”

This “real world” – about which students have no knowledge and have never seen – seems to be a common thing for – what I guess you would call “real” – adults  to bring up when speaking to us imaginary adults.  Why is this?…well as is my typical MO, I asked Google.

Was Google able to explain why I currently do not have a real life and must thus be prepared for it?  Lets check it out:According to Google real is:

• being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verified existence; not illusory
  CHECK – Ok, I am pretty sure my life is actually occurring…I have a birth certificate that has several of those “real life people’s” signatures on them…is this enough to verify my existence…?
• real(a): no less than what is stated; worthy of the name;
  CHECK – my life might not be that interesting on account of me being a quite studious person, but it still seems worthy enough to be called a life.  According to biological definitions, I am living.  As a biology major, that is good enough for me.
• not to be taken lightly;
  CHECK – my parents and other “real adults” tell me this on a regular basis, so it must apply to my life…hmmm my life is looking more real by the minute
• actual: being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something;
  CHECK – my life in all of its breathing, growing, adapting, responding, thinking, sleeping, bill paying, working, learning (need I continue?) definitely reflects the essential characteristics of life
• of, relating to, or representing an amount that is corrected for inflation;
  CHECK – ok, I admit, as a college senior, I probably have an inflated idea of the purpose and impact of my life, but even adjusted for this, I still think it would meet the necessary requirements
• substantial: having substance or capable of being treated as fact; not imaginary;
  CHECK – I would say that I should pinch myself to test this, but as I am clumsy, I will just count the stairs I fell UP today and the lasting reminder (read GIANT BRUISE) as proof that this life is not imaginary.  If you can’t take my word for it, ask the several other people I took out in the process of testing if my life was real…they are sure to remember (unless, of course, they hit their head).
• an old small silver Spanish coin
  OH OK now I get it…to get a real life you have to be turned into an old piece of metal with a fun design stamped on it…GOT IT…will work on this for the future, although I fail to see how my university is preparing me to become a COIN…(which now that I think about it, is another thing my parents lied to me about. They said that money does not make your life whole but CLEARLY it is required to have a REAL LIFE...ugh) 
  

The main point of this post was to point out that telling people that they do not have a real life gives this air of unimportance to their life.  Everyone has an important life and deserves to have that life treated like it is real.  Your problems, while they might seem more real to YOU, are just as real as my problems.

thisisnottom treks

I had a great post going...It was coming right along while I was at work (doing...ahem...work related things...) but then I got home and checked my twitter and this is what I saw:

So, needless to say, a negative amount of work has gotten done since that happened.

Instead of this lame excuse for a blog, imagine instead a nicely crafted blog about all the ways that your parents lied to you when you were young.  It is funny, witty, informative and altogether the most amazing thing ever.

You may see the evil twin of this supposedly amazing blog tomorrow depending on how thisisnottom goes today (I am giving myself some wiggle room...notice??).

It tends to take me longer than the average person to do thisisnottom because I steadfastly REFUSE to accept help of any kind...I just won't do it.  This means that I have to block out the comments on my screen with post it notes...so that I don't accidentally see a hint.  

I feel like if I am getting hints, it is ruining the game for me.  I like to be able to solve things on my own...even if it takes me MUCH longer.  Call me stubborn (most people do).

Long story not much shorter, this blog post is not what it looks like.  It is really much more amazing, you just can't see it unless you believe.

Crazy Cats Continued

Yesterday I discussed how we incorrectly perceive cats as being easy pets and as a result tend to neglect their emotional and behavior needs.

So, what can you do if you want to give your cat more stimulation?  Well, listed below are 4 simple ways for you to give you cat more simulation without having to spend much money (because I am cheap) or expend much effort (because I am lazy too).

1) Make a cat feeder out of an old water bottle.
It’s really simple really.  Just cut a few holes in a bottle (after removing the label and any plastic rings) and fill it with cat food.  Start with bigger holes to get your cat playing with the toy and gradually create toys with smaller holes.  You can put your cat’s morning ration of food in this feeder and give it to him in the morning and he can play with it all day.  Pay attention to signs of wear and replace frequently. And, yes, I am perfectly aware that the bottle in the picture is filled with cereal…I am not at home and – contrary to popular belief – I do not carry cat food bags in my carry on luggage.  Also, a bottle that was not clear would probably have been better…oh well, you take what you can get.

2) Make a cat feeder out of a storage container.
I made 3 of these (one for each cat) for my cats a while ago, and the change in their personalities has been AMAZING.  They have to live separated from the dogs and every time I would go in to see them, I would find them hiding in their own spots.  One cat would only ever be seen at feeding time.  Now, with these feeders, they are always out and much more sociable.

This is a long under the bed container (about $6.50…look for them on sale!).  Cut a hole in one end that is just big enough for your cat to get his head in (and OUT! test this with a cardboard box prototype first) but not big enough he is tempted to get all the way in.  Then cut slits in the lid as shown.  They should be just big enough for him to get a paw in (1 inch was what worked for my cats).  Sand down all the edges to make them smooth.  Start out by putting the food close to the head hole and as he gets better, move the food towards the other end.  My cats have gotten good enough at this that I had to put speed bumps in the bottom.  They now get all of their food in puzzle toys (in fact, they don’t even HAVE food bowls anymore).

The idea of these two feeders is that cats were designed to spend long amounts of time hunting for food so our meal based feeding is less than appropriate for them.  Think about it, dogs hunt in packs and will kill something MUCH larger than they are.  They then gorge themselves and laze about for a while.  Cats on the other hand, hunt things much smaller than they are (and are often unsuccessful) and so much spend a lot more time hunting than dogs.

3) Make a toy puzzle box
I do not currently have a picture of one of these due to mine meeting the destruction of some fiendish felines who did not approve of being left in the care of a sitter (ugh…cats are NOT easy). The concept is fairly simple though.  Take a cardboard box and put some holes in the sides. Place toys (or old ping pong balls if you are cheap like me) in the box.  Seal with tape.  Get video camera.  Place on floor.  Enjoy.
For some reason, not being able to directly SEE the toys makes them infinitely more fun.

4) Try out clicker training for your cat.
YES! Cats CAN be trained.  In fact, a lot of times they are smarter than some dogs I have met.  The site I have linked (http://www.clickertraining.com/cattraining) includes TONS of information about getting started with your cat.  Just a few minutes a day can improve your relationship with your cat, get him thinking, wear him out mentally, and possibly teach him some useful skills (or at least some cute tricks to impress your friends who are STILL trying to get their dogs to great people nicely).

 

NOTE: if you have a cat that is attacking you, there are several things you can do to protect yourself and help to retrain a better behavior without resorting to punishment based techniques.  Contact me and will be more then willing to give you some pointers.

Crazy Cats

Cats are easy pets to have right? You just have to throw them some food and water (ok, probably not throw…that would be messy.  Pouring in a controlled manner would probably be more efficient) clean out the litter box every so often, and take them to the vet when they are sick, right?  That is SO much easier than taking care of a DOG.  Dogs need walks, exercise, training, chew toys, playing toys, attention ALL THE TIME, etc etc etc. 

FALSE!  This idea seems to be the prevailing thoughts of nearly every person I have met (and with whom I have discussed the cat/dog dichotomy) and it makes me SO FRUSTRATED!  Cats are living beings whom by taking into our care makes us responsible for their welfare on a daily basis.  And yes, they can survive with just food, water, and an occasionally clean litter box (in fact, they don’t even need this, they are just as happy – if not more so – to use your bed) but are we taking enough consideration into their mental states and behavioral health? 

Take one of my friends for instance.  This year, she moved off campus and was allowed to have pets in her apartment complex.  She decided she did not have the time or energy to take care of a dog so instead decided to get a cat.  OK, I understand this logic…dogs have to be taken outside to relive themselves, so for someone who may be gone for long (8-12hrs) stretches at a time, a nice well mannered cat is probably a better option.

 What does she get though?  A KITTEN! And not just any kitten, an FELV+ kitten who was very young when she got him.  He could have contact with no other cats as soon as he was diagnosed with FELV.  I have no issues with adopting a cat like this, but I don’t think that she really understood all of the work that would be needed to raise a cat like this.  His FELV was not really the problem; it was the fact that he was VERY young and had no opportunities for socialization.  This cat needed vigorous training right from the very start, but because of the misperception that cats are easy and don’t require thought beyond basic care, he was not able to get what he needed to be a well adjusted cat.

 Needless to say, this cat is now about a year old and neither he (nor my friend is very happy).  The cat is living in a very under stimulating environment and will do anything to try to fix this.  He jumps on everything, destroys things as this gets a GREAT reaction out of my friend…exactly what he wants, reactions are fun which leads to attacking my friend in an increasingly more dangerous fashion.  He also creates toys out of everything regardless of how hard it is to make the toy.

This is the current living situation:

The cat stays in a small dog crate while she is gone due to fear of what he will do to her apartment.
I can understand her worry about the apartment, she is responsible for any damages he does and at this point, he has no issue with wantonly destroying anything.  My issue is with how small and confined the crate is.  It is literally big enough to fit a litter box and for him to lie down.  He can see out the door and through small slits in the sides.

The cat sleeps in the crate at night so she can get some sleep and he will not be able to destroy something during the night.
Ok, let’s think about this.  My friend has classes from about 8-4 every weekday.  Then she usually has something to do during the evening, say, from 7-10.  Then she sleeps between 11pm-7am.  This means that during the week the cat is probably out of his crate for MAYBE four hours.  The three between 4-7 (assuming she gets done with class on time and has nothing else to do) 30 minutes in the morning before going to classes and 30 minutes at night before she starts to go to bed.
OK that’s not a lot of time, but the weekends MUST be better right?  Yep, a little…my friend gets up around 11 then goes shopping (Sat) or to church (Sun) from 12-4ish and then will usually head out to do something again for the evening.
All of this means that my friend’s cat probably gets about 30 TOTAL hours of contact with something living in a WEEK. But wait, it gets better.

If the cat does something “kind of bad” he gets punished (loosely using this term, if you know the true meaning you will see this is not true punishment) by spraying with lemon juice water.
I am not quite sure what “kind of bad” means, but I think it contains things like jumping in restricted areas and playing with things that are not toys.  The punishment used to be a shake can, but the cat started ignoring that so it escalated to a spray bottle, but that became a fun game so they added lemon juice to the water to discourage that.  Apparently the lemon juice is not working anymore and much to my frustration/anger (there are not strong enough words to describe it) she is seriously considering a shock collar for the cat. ACK!!! NO!!!! (the worst part is this is without implementing ANY of the things I have suggested…which will be found in tomorrow’s post as this is getting ridiculously long)

When the cat does something “really bad” he has to spend 15 minutes in “timeout” in his crate.
Ok, I understand the concept of timeout, and use it for my dogs sometimes, but this really isn’t helping.  When pressed about how much time the cat spends in timeout, my friend states “about half.”  So take that 30 hours a week, and now make it 15 hours.  And it keeps getting smaller as the cat gets worse, creating a vicious cycle.  Just the other day, the cat invented a GREAT new game called break the lid off the toilet seat.  This makes TWO toys A) the toilet seat lid…it slides GREAT across the floor and makes noises too! and B) the water in the toilet…water is fun there is no denying that.  As a result of this new game, the cat now has to be crated when my friend is in the bathroom.  I can just imagine how little out of crate time this cat is going to be getting in 6 months.  No wonder he is under stimulated…I would be too! 

While this might be an extreme example, I have seen variations of this occur many times to even the best intentioned cat owners.  This was not intended to make anyone feel guilty but rather to point out a flaw in our perceptions of cats that is having significant effects on their heath.  There is no denying that stress increases the likelihood of disease not only in humans, but also in our beloved companions. 

Tomorrow I will discuss the various suggestions I gave to my friend (although she is not implementing them because CLEARLY I have no idea how to deal with cats…nope, all those classes and all that research into cat behavior gives me NO IDEA how to help her with her cat…better to just shock him, that will solve it…ending bitter rant now).  Most of these suggestions are easy, cheap, and some even require almost NO continual effort on your part (score one for laziness!) but all should help with many cat related behavior issues. 

Also, tomorrow should end the string of serious issue posts.  I really do apologize for all the seriousness.  Also, you should be warned that my style of funny is not so much funny, but large amounts of sarcasm/unrelated tangents, so when the funny DOES come out, please be prepared, most people have a hard time with it.

Epic Excuses

So, I had majestic plans to write a blog post about how people don’t care about the mental health of cats and ways to fix our perceptions of cats.  That didn’t happen.  I really tried to write it, and I have started it, but the words I want just aren’t coming to me.  I don’t really have the time right now to sit and stare at a screen with increasing levels of frustration over not being able to articulately express my ideas on this topic in writing.  In my head it works wonderfully, but then translating it to paper (or doG forbid words) is proving to be a disaster.  I want to be able to do this post justice because it really is an important topic that is rarely ever given the attention that it deserves.  

If I was not “forced” to blog everyday by BEDA (Blog Every Day April) and seeing a looming midnight deadline (in 64 minutes as of now) coupled with the promise of a killer immunology exam tomorrow where the answer “tiny chicken disease” just will not cut it, I would just push through on that post, but it will have to wait until at least tomorrow*.  Actually it will probably be on Saturday because tomorrow I want to write about World Autism Day (which was today, but I am always late).

Anyways, this was just a short (HA, as if I could write anything that was short!) post to say that I DID blog today, just not what I was thinking I would blog about yesterday.  Oh well, plans change…and I must learn to accept that.

I just realized that this post was one big long excuse.  Posts such as this one will probably be more prevalent this month than I wish to admit at this point.

 

 

*Incidentally, that was a very long and confusing sentence.  This seems to be all that I can write today.  If you thought that one was bad, you will soon realize it was nothing compared to the post I was TRYING to write.  Just be glad I saved you from the torture.  I blame my long convoluted sentences on 4 years of Latin.  My sentences are nothing compared to what they constructed.

Blog Beginnings

So, I have been meaning to start a blog for a long time (approximately 3 years…yeah I am a great procrastinator) but did not (obviously). Recently, Maureen Johnson followed by tons of people have decided to blog every day in April (BEDA).  I am going to join them.  If you know me well, you might be thinking this is an April Fool’s joke (because A) I love jokes, B) am inherently lazy and C) rarely finish anything completely) but it isn’t. At least that that is the story I am sticking to today.  Tomorrow when I don’t want to write anything, I may decide it really was an April Fool’s joke. For today though, it is FOR REAL and I intend to follow through.

Today will have 2 blog entries.  This introduction entry and then another (probably about cat behavior) that recently has been begging to come out.  I should probably save it for tomorrow, but as previously stated, tomorrow may never come and I really want to write about this.

 Now to the (sort of) intro blog post: 

Excuses for why I have not started a blog sooner (because I am good at making excuses)

 I thought that:

1)     I didn’t have the time,

2)     I had nothing to write about,

3)     it was too hard (ok, this is a lie, but I wanted 4 things on the list because 4 is one of my favorite numbers)

4)     Even if I did have something to write about, no one would care anyway due to my strange assortment of interests.

Well, upon further consideration I have decided that each of these points was not a truly valid reason not to start a blog because:

1)     I may not have the time, but I don’t have the time for a lot of other things that I insist on doing, so if I devote some of the time I waste on other things (facebook, twitter, obsessively checking my e-mail) to writing something useful (still to be determined) it might make me feel at least a little bit better about how I waste my time.

2)     Over the last few months I have thought of a multitude of things that I would want to write about, and believe it or not, they are sometimes about things that are not me complaining.  This is possibly the most amazing part given how much I love to complain.

3)     Well, I sort of knew the whole time that its not that hard to write a blog…but when I do something, it has to be done well, and I have read a lot of bad blogs in my years of interneting

4)     This has yet to be seen (and could possibly be very true).  But I don’t care, learning new and interesting stuff is good for you.

 

I think point 4 needs further explaining.

I really do have a variety of interests.  A (partially completed as per usual) list of topics you can expect to find covered here:

 -Animal Behavior
-Dog Training
-Animal Training in General
-Clicker Training
-Wildlife Conservation
-Green Technology
-Technology in General
-Health
-Autism Spectrum Disorders
-Neurology
-Green Living
-Farm Living
-Dog Agility
-Environmental Issues
-Science Topics
-Rants about Society
-Polo (the kind you play on horses)
-Veterinary Medicine
-Life as a Vet Student
-Anything Else 

Nothing is really off the table. If I feel like writing about it, I probably will.  Or at least I will think about writing it, but due to my brain being quite addicted to brain crack, I might not ACTUALLY write it.

 That’s all for now.